I’m not really an asshole, but I play one on the internet.

Notes, May 29, 2011

sunsurfer: Hotel Plaza Athenee, Paris via kiwicollection

sunsurfer:

Hotel Plaza Athenee, Paris

via kiwicollection

Reblogged from lianarama, 972 notes, May 28, 2011

Hey @urben-disaster, check this shit out.  I wanted to send you these photos to use on your new blog @aw yeah vertical gardens, but I couldn’t figure out how to do it.  I only claimed to be superior in all things botanical, not technological, so give me a fucking break!  Anyway, grab these if you want them. 

I was riding a bike around Amsterdam about a year ago when I stumbled on this building.  I had been biking around, stopping at coffee shops to sample the botanicals, and I guess you could say I got a little lost.  It appears to be an atheletic club of some sort, but I don’t know anything else about it.  The living wall system appears to be a lot like Patric Blanc’s…maybe it is. It was pretty bare in some spots, but looked pretty damn cool overall. 

Fuck Yeah Vertical Gardens!!!

3 notes, May 27, 2011

lianarama asked: Thank you but yes I have briefly discussed Woonerf in class. I'm actually going to the Netherlands this summer for a summer abroad program so I'll get to see and experience the design/system in person :)

Sadly, it's a lot harder to do something like that in the suburbs of California :(

Enjoy the Netherlands!  I went last summer…also for a study abroad program.  Wonderful trip.   

Yeah, doing something like a woonerf in the US in general is a little difficult, but somebody’s gotta do it first.

1 note, May 24, 2011

swingingnakedthrutrees asked: are you a botanist

No, I just really like plants.  Do you really not wear clothes while you swing through the trees?

0 notes, May 24, 2011

Why don’t you go fuck yourself?

So I started thinking when one amongst many in the vast sea of my followers commented on my post yesterday about poison ivy.  @urben-disaster said when she reblogged my post, “I thought he/ she was off his/ her knocker telling us this was Poison Ivy! ‘Silly fool,’ I thought!”

What started me thinking was the he/she thing.  Did you know (and I bet you didn’t, you dumbfucks) that some plants are precisely that…he/she’s.  Yes, that’s right, that’s what I said.  Poison Ivy, for instance, is a he/she.  Botanists call this being monoecious.  The poison ivy trickster, Acer negundo, however, is either male or female…each plant is only one or the other.  Botanists call this being dioecious.  If you have a hard time remembering these terms (and I’m sure you will), just think of it this way.  Mono- means the sexes are on one plant. Di- means the sexes are on two plants.  

I hope you’re not afraid of hermaphrodites!

1 note, May 24, 2011

Hey, you itchy bitches, this here is Poison Ivy!  Its been known to cause some pretty uncomfortable rashes.  Better watch where you put your hands.  I gotta tell you, bad things can happen if you go to the bathroom before you wash your hands!  It’s known botanically as Toxicodendron radicans, or sometimes as Rhus radicans.  I would stay away from this shit!  Wait…no I wouldn’t, you friggin’ idiot.  This is not even Poison Ivy, but I bet you thought it was.  You’re probably afraid of the dark, believing everything you hear about what might be out there lurking in the shadows.  Well, why don’t you try arming yourself with some information for a change.  Here, I’ll help.  What you see in the picture here is Acer negundo, commonly called Boxelder or Ash-Leaved Maple.  People usually get fooled because of the overly simplistic saying, “Leaves of three, leave me be”  Or, some people hear that poison ivy has red stems…this MUST be it!  Well, look at the leaf arrangement.  See.  The plant in the picture has opposite leaves, not alternate.  Poison Ivy always has alternate leaves.  Do you see that?  If you don’t know how to tell a simple leaf from a compound leaf, learn how to use google.  And look up the word “stipule” while you’re at it.      

Hey, you itchy bitches, this here is Poison Ivy!  Its been known to cause some pretty uncomfortable rashes.  Better watch where you put your hands.  I gotta tell you, bad things can happen if you go to the bathroom before you wash your hands!  It’s known botanically as Toxicodendron radicans, or sometimes as Rhus radicans.  I would stay away from this shit!  Wait…no I wouldn’t, you friggin’ idiot.  This is not even Poison Ivy, but I bet you thought it was.  You’re probably afraid of the dark, believing everything you hear about what might be out there lurking in the shadows.  Well, why don’t you try arming yourself with some information for a change.  Here, I’ll help.  What you see in the picture here is Acer negundo, commonly called Boxelder or Ash-Leaved Maple.  People usually get fooled because of the overly simplistic saying, “Leaves of three, leave me be”  Or, some people hear that poison ivy has red stems…this MUST be it!  Well, look at the leaf arrangement.  See.  The plant in the picture has opposite leaves, not alternate.  Poison Ivy always has alternate leaves.  Do you see that?  If you don’t know how to tell a simple leaf from a compound leaf, learn how to use google.  And look up the word “stipule” while you’re at it.      

2 notes, May 23, 2011

I bet y’all don’t even know what this is.  Pfff.  Everybody knows this is Doll’s Eyes (Actaea pachypoda).  It got its name back in the 1800’s when dumbasses used to eat it.  But you can hardly blame them.  I mean, this was before tv and the google.  What else was a person supposed to do with their time?  And besides, its not like anybody knew anything about anything back then.  Anyway, it would pretty much make a person’s eyes pop out of their heads.  Well, not pretty much…it did.  When their eyes popped out, there were usually other people around who would pick them up and use them in their children’s toys to make the toys more life-like.

I bet y’all don’t even know what this is.  Pfff.  Everybody knows this is Doll’s Eyes (Actaea pachypoda).  It got its name back in the 1800’s when dumbasses used to eat it.  But you can hardly blame them.  I mean, this was before tv and the google.  What else was a person supposed to do with their time?  And besides, its not like anybody knew anything about anything back then.  Anyway, it would pretty much make a person’s eyes pop out of their heads.  Well, not pretty much…it did.  When their eyes popped out, there were usually other people around who would pick them up and use them in their children’s toys to make the toys more life-like.

1 note, May 22, 2011